This is a great story by one of my favorite mindfulness teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh.
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce.
You look fore reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet, if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand you can love and the situation will change.
This is such a powerful way to look at your relationships and help you to make a shift for your health as well as for your friend’s or family member. Can you see how this would help any stressful moments you may have in your personal relationships?